bullying

The Lesson Behind a Tragedy: When We Don’t Listen, We Lose More Than a Child

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

A reflection on grief, silence, and what happens when we look away for too long

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A Devastating Loss, and a Divided Grief

Recently, a young girl lost her life — suddenly, tragically. Her parents believe firmly that it was an accident. Out of deep respect for their grief, their wishes must be honored. They deserve peace, and their daughter deserves dignity.

But grief has many faces. And for those who loved her, who knew her quiet pain, the tragedy feels layered… and unbearably familiar.

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The Unspoken History

Before her death, this girl had not attended school for weeks — possibly months. She had faced years of ongoing bullying, starting in primary school and tragically continuing into high school. The very same bullies followed her into a new chapter of life and made sure she carried the trauma with her.

She withdrew. From school. From friendships. From the joy that should have belonged to her youth.

Friends recall messages — raw, confessional — about suicidal thoughts. She told people she didn’t want to be here anymore. She was told to kill herself. Her absence from school wasn’t about laziness or disinterest — it was fear. It was emotional exhaustion. It was a desperate attempt to escape cruelty.

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Respecting the Family, While Also Respecting the Truth

This article isn’t meant to point fingers or assign blame. The family has stated that this was an accident. That must be heard.

But so must the rest.

To deny the bullying — to erase it from the story entirely — is to erase years of pain. It sends a dangerous message to every child who has ever felt the same. It makes the others feel unseen. And it lets those who inflicted that pain walk away without reflection, responsibility, or change.

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What Happens When We Pretend It’s Not Real?

When we strip bullying out of the conversation after a tragedy, we do more than protect reputations. We protect the problem.

We raise children who learn that cruelty is consequence-free. We raise systems that respond to crisis only when it becomes unignorable. And we leave grieving friends — like my daughter — to wrestle with impossible questions:

“Why did no one stop this?”

“Why is everyone acting like this had nothing to do with it?”

“Why did her mum tell me not to let the bullies win… and then say it was just an accident?”

That contradiction is what breaks the heart open again and again. It’s not about blame — it’s about integrity.

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The Real Lesson We Can’t Afford to Miss

The lesson here isn’t to point at the past and burn it down. It’s to illuminate it. To say, loudly:

• Children don’t lie about being bullied.

• School refusal is not a character flaw — it’s often a trauma response.

• When kids tell us they’re scared, or thinking about ending their lives — we must believe them.

• And when someone is lost, we must examine the full truth. Not just the parts that feel easiest to manage.

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Honouring Her by Changing What Must Be Changed

This beautiful, gentle girl should never have had to carry such a heavy burden. The lesson behind her death — whatever the cause — is not just that life is fragile.

It’s that we have to do better.

We owe it to her. To every student who suffers in silence. To every family who shouldn’t have to wonder if a child’s life could have been saved by compassion, early intervention, and accountability.

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Keep Your Condolences — They Mean Nothing Without Courage

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

When grief becomes performative, silence is more honest.

It’s a strange kind of cruelty — offering your condolences with one hand, and turning your back with the other.

My daughter received a message — soft, kind, sorrowful — from someone who used to be her friend. Someone who had once laughed with her, and more recently, laughed at her. Someone who once knew her inside out, and now won’t even stand beside her in the hallway.

This girl messaged my daughter after the death of her best friend. She offered condolences. Words of comfort. A digital candle in the storm.

And when my daughter — raw, grieving, desperate for connection — said, “Can we please rebuild our friendship?”

She was met with silence.

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You don’t get to break someone, then pretend to care when they’re shattered.

No.

Worse than no.

Nothing.

Ghosted. Erased. Forgotten again.

Because some people only want to be seen grieving, not actually feel it — not sit in it, not show up for the ones left behind.

The silence screamed louder than any message. And the grief? It got heavier.

You don’t get to offer your sympathy, pose as the wounded soul, and then bolt the moment someone needs you. If you do, then your sympathy was never real. It was a mirror for yourself — not a light for someone else.

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Friendship doesn’t end at the funeral gates.

True friendship doesn’t dissolve under pressure. It doesn’t hide when the moment is hard.

It doesn’t vanish when someone asks for warmth.

You can’t send your “I’m so sorry for your loss” texts and then vanish when someone asks for human connection. That’s not kindness — that’s cowardice.

And to those who perform compassion while refusing to practice it — let me tell you something painful:

Your fake condolences are more hurtful than saying nothing at all.

Because pretending to care is not harmless.

It’s another form of emotional abandonment — and sometimes, it hurts just as much as the loss.

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Last Night, I Dreamt You K*lled Yourself

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

And then you told her twice, like it was something she needed to hear.

A Seed Planted in the Dark

She said it like it meant something—

“Last night, I dreamt you k*lled yourself.”

At first, it just sounded strange. Cruel, but strange.

But then she said it again.

On two separate occasions.

She looked her straight in the eyes and repeated it,

like she wanted it to stick.

Like she wanted her to believe it was already written.

Friends Don’t Plant Seeds Like That

This isn’t just about a dream.

It’s about a 14-year-old girl, sitting in a Year 8 classroom at a public school already drowning in a reputation for cruelty.

It’s about a girl trying to stay afloat while the people who should be beside her are holding her underwater.

The one who said she was her friend

was laughing behind her back with her bullies.

She said it was “just to keep them from bashing me.”

But that lie cracked wide open, and the truth fell out.

She wasn’t protecting herself.

She was orchestrating her pain.

The Ultimate Betrayal

What kind of friend casually tells you they dreamt you ended your life?

What kind of friend tells you twice?

What kind of friend watches your self-worth unravel and helps it along?

It wasn’t a dream.

It was a dagger.

And it was meant to land.

The worst part?

She planted a seed of suicide, right there—in a classroom, in whispers, in fake sympathy wrapped in manipulation.

She knew what she was doing.

And she did it anyway.

This Is What Bullying Looks Like

Not all wounds bleed.

Some are planted in the heart like a poison.

Slow, invisible, but just as deadly.

And in some schools—especially the ones where bullying thrives in the open and nothing is done—it happens every day.

If You See It, Say It. Don’t Be Silent.

Because someone’s dream shouldn’t become another family’s nightmare.

The Darkness to Their Light

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

My daughter is a child – first and foremost she is my child – and therefore I should extend more understanding towards the situation than what I am… however I am nothing like her and I just can’t give her that grace.

She’s so naive – not more naive than anyone else of her age and nature, but unbelievably trusting, so filled with hope, and always seeing the best in people – even when dealing with others who are nothing but the absolute scum of the Earth.

She still trusts them.

She still gives them a chance.

Nobody likes you because of your ‘disorders’? My daughter will be your friend.

Nobody likes you because of all of your ‘personal problems’? My daughter will STILL be your friend.

Nobody likes you because you’re new to the school? Not only will my daughter be your friend, but she will make you feel so very welcomed.

This is her downfall!

She is excessively trusting. She only sees the good in people. She will be your friend even if you are a rubbish human being.

So what do you get in return when you extend yourself to people who you should never have been extending yourself to?

You end up with FAKE friends – or even worse – USERS!

People who only associate with you to see how you can benefit their lives.

Two-faced creatures who do nothing but drain all of your energy and talk about you behind your back.

The type of fake friends who will see you being threatened by your bullies and rather than stick up for you, they befriend your bully – all whilst claiming it’s because they want to preserve themselves and not get beaten up alongside you.

They are nothing but bystanders in life – and they will never amount to anything more than that.

The worst part is they’re not even like your bullies – the strange thing about bullies is that they are willing to communicate with you and tell you exactly what you’ve done or what it is about you that they hate the most.

Whereas these snakes that call themselves her friends, her acquaintances, her associates – when they are asked what she’s done wrong to cause them to treat her as badly as what they treat her – they merely walk off.

They tell her that they’re not going to include her in a conversation because possibly she doesn’t share those same interests – without even finding out first whether or not she’s interested in a particular subject.

They will exclude her, walk away from her, remove her as a friend on social media – and then tell her that their actions is an “answer” – without ever providing a reason as to what caused the fallout.

No closure is given.

She’s just left to question what could have possibly gone wrong to end a friendship like that…

As a mother, I could tell her that it ended in that way because there never was any real friendship there to begin with.

She was being used for what she could give them.

She was being used because it was convenient for them at the time.

Revoltingly she was even being used racially as they explained to her that she could be the coloured person in their group – they would call her the “darkness to their light”, in reference to her skin tone being darker than their own.

They hate her because she’s a good person.

They can’t manipulate her and force her to vape or do anything unsavoury which would put her or anyone for that matter in a compromising position.

They hate her because as much as she is a trusting person she will not do anything that is inappropriate.

They hate her because they can’t drag her down to their level.

As much as it hurts my heart that she gives people like this a chance, that she overextended herself to include everyone, to trust everyone, to give everyone a chance – it also fills my heart to know that the reason why they hate her is practically the same thing that frustrates me about her:

She is a pure, decent, human being. That is a representation of everything good in this world, of everything good in this lifetime. She is the exact opposite of me and my only wish is that there were more people like her in the world to balance out the deceitfulness, the deviousness of everybody else around her.

Perhaps if we had more people like her, she would be able to find someone to call a true friend, opposed to being surrounded by the most deceptive of creatures.

Your Relationship Is The Reason Why ALL Schools Have Gone To S**t!

~ Rochelle ~ 1 Comment

It’s time to own it – the way you entertain your toxic relationship in front of your children is the very reason why all schools are enduring a bullying pandemic – globally.

Obviously, I’m not saying that all relationships are perfect – we all have our ups and downs – but it’s the way we choose to handle those good and bad times that directly impacts our children.

We all know how sponge like our little ones are from the time they’re born and how they just absorb all of their surroundings – whether we like it or not.

Right now they’re absorbing the most toxic of home environments and they’re replaying them as often as they can with as many different people as they can from the very minute they hit school grounds.

They want to inflict as much pain as their caregivers inflict on one another – and the worst part is it’s not just the physical violence that we’re seeing an increase of.

It’s all those sick mind games as well!

Our kids are going to school having nothing else better to do than Gaslight the hell out of everyone they can – they aren’t there to gain an education whatsoever!

Does this sound familiar:

A group of so-called “friends” will intentionally isolate and ignore one person from their group. Or they will spread rumours about one particular person just for the sake of it.

Then, when that one person finds out and they display signs of withdrawal or show that they’re hurt in anyway – the toxic person or people reach out and ask them ‘what’s wrong’.

The victim is blamed – the toxic person claims that the person who has been isolated is becoming distant all of a sudden – even though they are being ‘distant’ because of the way they are being treated.

These toxic teenagers play the worst kind of mind games – they pretend that nothing is going on – all the while doing everything in their power to destroy the lives of other people.

All whilst continuing to ask the victim “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is everything alright? You can tell me anything. I just want to be there for you.”

They’re watching their own caregivers gaslight one another, hurt one another, make each other feel as though they’re going completely crazy – then they take this sick ability of theirs – and they unleashed on the most innocent and unsuspecting of people.

It’s the most vicious cycle I have ever seen.

We are breeding, creating, spawning the most evil and toxic of children – then we don’t want the education system to have any power in redirecting the toxicity within these children – in fact when bullying is flagged the school will intervene and usually councils the victim of the bullying – they never try to rehabilitate the toxic student. Once the caregivers find out about what’s going on at school with their spawn from hell – they do nothing – because they’re too busy in their own lives – fighting their own Demons – trying to hold their head above water whilst their partner is dragging them down…

Maybe if the caregiver’s partner was redirected as a child when they were displaying this vicious, toxic behaviour – they wouldn’t have grown to be such an evil adult – who then spawned an equally evil child – who then goes to school only to destroy the most beautiful of children – who will then themselves grow into an adult and destroy the life of their partner as well… of course in front of the eyes of their once innocent child.

And so the cycle continues…

It is completely your fault that bullying is out of control in all schools across the globe!

It is in your power to do whatever you can to not expose your innocent child to the toxicity of your partner!

You can teach your child right from wrong by standing up for yourself – and not forcing the world to be dragged down the way you are being dragged down in your own relationship!

The toxic dynamics within our personal relationships are not just a minor issue, they are a breeding ground for the next generation of bullies. Children absorb everything, and when they witness manipulation and cruelty at home, they carry that poison into their schools and friendships. Caregivers need to wake up and realise that their behavior is shaping a future filled with emotional predators. 

If we don’t take a long hard look at our own actions and change our ways, we’re dooming our kids to repeat this vicious cycle. The responsibility is ours, and we must demand better from ourselves to ensure our children grow up valuing respect and empathy, rather than perpetuating the cycle of toxicity. 

If we fail to act, we’re not just failing them, we’re enabling a generation of heartless individuals.

To Hell With “Honey How Was Your Day?”

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

There’s one question that most parents of school going children ask their kids the moment they lay eyes on them after school – “Honey how was your day?” and I feel that question is completely useless – we really need to start getting the answer to a much deeper question.

Perhaps rather than asking how our child’s own day went at school – we need to start asking them more hard hitting questions – like who they hurt over the course of the day instead!

Realistically, if you have a bully as a child they’re going to have had a fabulous day – because let’s face it – they more than likely tormented the life out of their victims yet again.

They would have said and done some things that are going to impact another human’s life, for the rest of their life – and in a way the parents of bullies are just as responsible for these acts of cruelty.

If you raised a bully that’s on you just as much as it’s on them!

By starting a conversation with finding out if your child has been responsible for hurting another living being it opens up a completely different conversation rather than merely questioning the quality of their own experience at school.

It gives them the opportunity to tell the truth – and it gives you the opportunity to know if your child is lying or hiding something that they’ve done to someone else – but even more importantly it puts the question in their mind every single day – “HAVE YOU HURT SOMEONE?”

It almost holds them accountable for their own conduct – even if they are not being honest about their actions – because it causes them to be aware of their behaviour – their conscience, if they have one, should hopefully kick in and maybe, just maybe, over time it will encourage them to be more conscious of the way they are treating others and the impact they have on the world.

To hell with “Honey, how was your day?”! You can always get to that after finding out whether they’ve been responsible for being a menace in someone’s day.

Then again, maybe the reason why these awful, useless bullies are the way they are is because they don’t have parents who care – they don’t have anyone to hold them accountable for their actions – let alone ask them how their day was.

Maybe if the people who spawn these evil menaces cared enough to invest even five minutes of their time into their spawn, we wouldn’t have the bullying epidemic that we have today.

Parents of bullies – let me assure you, your maniacal little imbecile had an incredible day at school – bringing pain and sadness to everyone that they could. But hopefully, karma will find them and more than likely you as well for standing by and doing nothing.

If we shift the focus to whether they have hurt someone, it opens up a whole new conversation. It challenges them to confront their actions, encourages honesty, and makes them think twice about their behavior every single day.

It’s about holding them accountable, making them aware of their impact, and hopefully guiding them towards treating others with more kindness. Let’s forget the pleasantries and dive straight into the real conversations about their actions – unless the truth is that parents simply can’t handle hearing it!

They Aren’t Bullying You Just Because They’re ‘Jealous’!

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

No matter the age of the child, the question that pops up from them regardless of if they’re in primary or secondary school is WHY they are being targeted by bullies – it’s something most of us would wonder ourselves.

Largely the excuse made for these poor examples of human beings is that they’re ‘jealous’ of the person that they are relentlessly harassing.

I have a different theory though – and it goes far deeper than simply “jealousy”.

What if these menaces to society, either single-handedly or with a small group of their like-minded lowlife associates, get together and harass others so that they don’t start fights within their own friendship group?

What if they are bullying our children not just because our children are too respectful to fight back, but also because they have a deep desire to inflict pain on anyone who they see as an ‘easy target’ who they know won’t try to intimidate them back in any way?

These evil creatures aren’t merely jealous of children who they see as more successful, happier or more visually appealing than what they perceive themselves to be- I mean I’m sure it starts there, especially when they make nasty remarks about how ugly they feel their victim is- and even more so when they interrupt a class to look directly at our child, call them a dog and order them to stop smiling… there must be something visually that they despise about their victim – the fact that their victims are usually the children who are oozing with pure joy does not help. 

They loathe our children’s happiness. They can’t stand the love that fills our children’s hearts and so they endeavour to try and put our children’s spark out or at the very least dim their light – if they can’t achieve their greatest desire of extinguishing our children completely.

This goes far beyond any kind of jealousy they may feel over materialistic things – after all from my firsthand experience with the cursed children that are harassing my daughter – they appear to have it all – and they boast about stealing it too.

In fact, if you walk into the 7-Eleven at Seven Hills, you will find their mugshots on the stores watchlist wall – these creatures have no shame in any sense of the word and this does not deter them in any way.

Whilst on the topic of stealing, they have even done so from my daughter – which honestly comes as no surprise because that’s the type of maniacal creatures they are.

This is the type of useless beings these menaces are, they are without even the smallest amount of morals or values – and where does the lack of basic core values come from if not the parents themselves?

How can anyone continue to use the excuse of jealousy for these pathetic individuals when the reality is they are far more savage than we give them credit for.

The true explanation as to why your child is being bullied, harassed and hurt by evil individuals is because those pathetic excuses for children are filled with hate. They don’t have anything else to their lives. Hate is their only drive. Not just jealousy. And if they’re not intimidating someone who has higher standards than themselves, who would not engage in violence with them, then they would turn on one of their own – and because their own are equally as vindictive as they are, they run the risk of getting themselves hurt.

That is what is actually going on here!

Hateful parents without willingness to give their child the love, guidance and support that their vicious offspring so desperately need, curse the entire world with their spawn- who are so filled with hate themselves that they are driven to destroy the most beautiful elements of life that mankind has ever seen.

These abominations hate to see anyone succeed or be happy or smile but that’s not the only thing driving them to drag our children down. They will do this just to prevent themselves from being targeted by their equals- the pathetic excuses of children who are just as vindictive as what they are.

They aren’t just bullying you because they’re jealous of you – they’re bullying you because they’re too COWARDLY to do anything else, to put the work in and actually make anything of themselves and they are far too scared to leave themselves open to being targeted by the demoniac associates they consider to be their friends.

The old saying “idle hands are the devil‘s workshop” could not be more true when considering these types of useless creatures.