education

The Lesson Behind a Tragedy: When We Don’t Listen, We Lose More Than a Child

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

A reflection on grief, silence, and what happens when we look away for too long

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A Devastating Loss, and a Divided Grief

Recently, a young girl lost her life — suddenly, tragically. Her parents believe firmly that it was an accident. Out of deep respect for their grief, their wishes must be honored. They deserve peace, and their daughter deserves dignity.

But grief has many faces. And for those who loved her, who knew her quiet pain, the tragedy feels layered… and unbearably familiar.

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The Unspoken History

Before her death, this girl had not attended school for weeks — possibly months. She had faced years of ongoing bullying, starting in primary school and tragically continuing into high school. The very same bullies followed her into a new chapter of life and made sure she carried the trauma with her.

She withdrew. From school. From friendships. From the joy that should have belonged to her youth.

Friends recall messages — raw, confessional — about suicidal thoughts. She told people she didn’t want to be here anymore. She was told to kill herself. Her absence from school wasn’t about laziness or disinterest — it was fear. It was emotional exhaustion. It was a desperate attempt to escape cruelty.

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Respecting the Family, While Also Respecting the Truth

This article isn’t meant to point fingers or assign blame. The family has stated that this was an accident. That must be heard.

But so must the rest.

To deny the bullying — to erase it from the story entirely — is to erase years of pain. It sends a dangerous message to every child who has ever felt the same. It makes the others feel unseen. And it lets those who inflicted that pain walk away without reflection, responsibility, or change.

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What Happens When We Pretend It’s Not Real?

When we strip bullying out of the conversation after a tragedy, we do more than protect reputations. We protect the problem.

We raise children who learn that cruelty is consequence-free. We raise systems that respond to crisis only when it becomes unignorable. And we leave grieving friends — like my daughter — to wrestle with impossible questions:

“Why did no one stop this?”

“Why is everyone acting like this had nothing to do with it?”

“Why did her mum tell me not to let the bullies win… and then say it was just an accident?”

That contradiction is what breaks the heart open again and again. It’s not about blame — it’s about integrity.

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The Real Lesson We Can’t Afford to Miss

The lesson here isn’t to point at the past and burn it down. It’s to illuminate it. To say, loudly:

• Children don’t lie about being bullied.

• School refusal is not a character flaw — it’s often a trauma response.

• When kids tell us they’re scared, or thinking about ending their lives — we must believe them.

• And when someone is lost, we must examine the full truth. Not just the parts that feel easiest to manage.

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Honouring Her by Changing What Must Be Changed

This beautiful, gentle girl should never have had to carry such a heavy burden. The lesson behind her death — whatever the cause — is not just that life is fragile.

It’s that we have to do better.

We owe it to her. To every student who suffers in silence. To every family who shouldn’t have to wonder if a child’s life could have been saved by compassion, early intervention, and accountability.

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Keep Your Condolences — They Mean Nothing Without Courage

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

When grief becomes performative, silence is more honest.

It’s a strange kind of cruelty — offering your condolences with one hand, and turning your back with the other.

My daughter received a message — soft, kind, sorrowful — from someone who used to be her friend. Someone who had once laughed with her, and more recently, laughed at her. Someone who once knew her inside out, and now won’t even stand beside her in the hallway.

This girl messaged my daughter after the death of her best friend. She offered condolences. Words of comfort. A digital candle in the storm.

And when my daughter — raw, grieving, desperate for connection — said, “Can we please rebuild our friendship?”

She was met with silence.

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You don’t get to break someone, then pretend to care when they’re shattered.

No.

Worse than no.

Nothing.

Ghosted. Erased. Forgotten again.

Because some people only want to be seen grieving, not actually feel it — not sit in it, not show up for the ones left behind.

The silence screamed louder than any message. And the grief? It got heavier.

You don’t get to offer your sympathy, pose as the wounded soul, and then bolt the moment someone needs you. If you do, then your sympathy was never real. It was a mirror for yourself — not a light for someone else.

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Friendship doesn’t end at the funeral gates.

True friendship doesn’t dissolve under pressure. It doesn’t hide when the moment is hard.

It doesn’t vanish when someone asks for warmth.

You can’t send your “I’m so sorry for your loss” texts and then vanish when someone asks for human connection. That’s not kindness — that’s cowardice.

And to those who perform compassion while refusing to practice it — let me tell you something painful:

Your fake condolences are more hurtful than saying nothing at all.

Because pretending to care is not harmless.

It’s another form of emotional abandonment — and sometimes, it hurts just as much as the loss.

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Are All Curry Mothers This Vile?

~ Rochelle ~ 1 Comment

Why is there such a vast difference when it comes to the way a daughter is treated in comparison to a son – especially in a Sri Lankan household?!

Are all curry mothers just this vile? 

Do all curry mothers just simply worship the ground that their sons walk on – all whilst treating their daughters like absolute garbage?!

I think what hurts the most is the way that my mother not only treats me as though I am second-best when it comes to my brother and myself – but the way that she now accepts and  showers love on my brother’s new girlfriend.

And it’s not just love – it’s the financial freedom that my brother and his girlfriend are so very blessed with as well.

When I was still living at home, there is no chance in hell that I would be permitted to use a cent of my mother’s money for anything that I needed – especially once I had a job.

Not food, not groceries and most certainly not clothing or anything luxurious.

Yet here I am watching on as my mother financially supports my 33 year old brother and his new girlfriend on their shopping extravaganzas – all whilst he holds down a full-time job.

It feels as though it’s a cultural thing – where my mother feels obligated to shower her son and his girlfriend with whatever they need.

Or maybe it’s just a ‘black sheep’ of the family thing – something that my brother is privy to because he was always wanted, the perfect golden child… whereas I wasn’t, more than likely, because I am female and completely unwanted.

On one hand, I am falling down a steep spiral of jealousy as I watch my mother doing this for my brother – and yet on the other hand I keep reminding myself that at least I can hold my head up high knowing that I didn’t have this luxury extended to myself or my husband.

I can’t help but question though – what is wrong with me? How could she never have cared about me in that way? I was so desperate for clarity that I even tested her just the other day to see if anything had changed… I told her that I was hungry… and asked her if she would please buy me some food… and she abused me for asking… I wish I hadn’t have tested her in that way especially when deep down inside I knew what the answer would have been… I know that in reality I am no one and nothing to her…

Realistically, I feel so stupid for even asking, but part of me just had to know if anything had changed over the years. If she was just waiting for me to extend myself and ask for help… but she wasn’t.

Unconditional love, financial freedom and unwavering support are the luxuries reserved only for my mother‘s son.

My maternal grandmother used to always say “you can’t close one eye and open the other” – this was something that she used to say when it came to treating children equally… not that she had the right to say this considering she was just as guilty of being equally as cruel.

And therein lies the answer to how this could have all unfolded – it’s a generational curse which has been handed down from mother to child from my grandmother to my mother – and I wonder how far back it goes… all whilst praying to God that I don’t do this to my own children.

As happy as I am for my brother and his girlfriend, I am also deeply, soulfully crushed as I mourn the life and love that could have been for myself – if only I had been born a boy.

Your Relationship Is The Reason Why ALL Schools Have Gone To S**t!

~ Rochelle ~ 1 Comment

It’s time to own it – the way you entertain your toxic relationship in front of your children is the very reason why all schools are enduring a bullying pandemic – globally.

Obviously, I’m not saying that all relationships are perfect – we all have our ups and downs – but it’s the way we choose to handle those good and bad times that directly impacts our children.

We all know how sponge like our little ones are from the time they’re born and how they just absorb all of their surroundings – whether we like it or not.

Right now they’re absorbing the most toxic of home environments and they’re replaying them as often as they can with as many different people as they can from the very minute they hit school grounds.

They want to inflict as much pain as their caregivers inflict on one another – and the worst part is it’s not just the physical violence that we’re seeing an increase of.

It’s all those sick mind games as well!

Our kids are going to school having nothing else better to do than Gaslight the hell out of everyone they can – they aren’t there to gain an education whatsoever!

Does this sound familiar:

A group of so-called “friends” will intentionally isolate and ignore one person from their group. Or they will spread rumours about one particular person just for the sake of it.

Then, when that one person finds out and they display signs of withdrawal or show that they’re hurt in anyway – the toxic person or people reach out and ask them ‘what’s wrong’.

The victim is blamed – the toxic person claims that the person who has been isolated is becoming distant all of a sudden – even though they are being ‘distant’ because of the way they are being treated.

These toxic teenagers play the worst kind of mind games – they pretend that nothing is going on – all the while doing everything in their power to destroy the lives of other people.

All whilst continuing to ask the victim “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is everything alright? You can tell me anything. I just want to be there for you.”

They’re watching their own caregivers gaslight one another, hurt one another, make each other feel as though they’re going completely crazy – then they take this sick ability of theirs – and they unleashed on the most innocent and unsuspecting of people.

It’s the most vicious cycle I have ever seen.

We are breeding, creating, spawning the most evil and toxic of children – then we don’t want the education system to have any power in redirecting the toxicity within these children – in fact when bullying is flagged the school will intervene and usually councils the victim of the bullying – they never try to rehabilitate the toxic student. Once the caregivers find out about what’s going on at school with their spawn from hell – they do nothing – because they’re too busy in their own lives – fighting their own Demons – trying to hold their head above water whilst their partner is dragging them down…

Maybe if the caregiver’s partner was redirected as a child when they were displaying this vicious, toxic behaviour – they wouldn’t have grown to be such an evil adult – who then spawned an equally evil child – who then goes to school only to destroy the most beautiful of children – who will then themselves grow into an adult and destroy the life of their partner as well… of course in front of the eyes of their once innocent child.

And so the cycle continues…

It is completely your fault that bullying is out of control in all schools across the globe!

It is in your power to do whatever you can to not expose your innocent child to the toxicity of your partner!

You can teach your child right from wrong by standing up for yourself – and not forcing the world to be dragged down the way you are being dragged down in your own relationship!

The toxic dynamics within our personal relationships are not just a minor issue, they are a breeding ground for the next generation of bullies. Children absorb everything, and when they witness manipulation and cruelty at home, they carry that poison into their schools and friendships. Caregivers need to wake up and realise that their behavior is shaping a future filled with emotional predators. 

If we don’t take a long hard look at our own actions and change our ways, we’re dooming our kids to repeat this vicious cycle. The responsibility is ours, and we must demand better from ourselves to ensure our children grow up valuing respect and empathy, rather than perpetuating the cycle of toxicity. 

If we fail to act, we’re not just failing them, we’re enabling a generation of heartless individuals.

To Hell With “Honey How Was Your Day?”

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

There’s one question that most parents of school going children ask their kids the moment they lay eyes on them after school – “Honey how was your day?” and I feel that question is completely useless – we really need to start getting the answer to a much deeper question.

Perhaps rather than asking how our child’s own day went at school – we need to start asking them more hard hitting questions – like who they hurt over the course of the day instead!

Realistically, if you have a bully as a child they’re going to have had a fabulous day – because let’s face it – they more than likely tormented the life out of their victims yet again.

They would have said and done some things that are going to impact another human’s life, for the rest of their life – and in a way the parents of bullies are just as responsible for these acts of cruelty.

If you raised a bully that’s on you just as much as it’s on them!

By starting a conversation with finding out if your child has been responsible for hurting another living being it opens up a completely different conversation rather than merely questioning the quality of their own experience at school.

It gives them the opportunity to tell the truth – and it gives you the opportunity to know if your child is lying or hiding something that they’ve done to someone else – but even more importantly it puts the question in their mind every single day – “HAVE YOU HURT SOMEONE?”

It almost holds them accountable for their own conduct – even if they are not being honest about their actions – because it causes them to be aware of their behaviour – their conscience, if they have one, should hopefully kick in and maybe, just maybe, over time it will encourage them to be more conscious of the way they are treating others and the impact they have on the world.

To hell with “Honey, how was your day?”! You can always get to that after finding out whether they’ve been responsible for being a menace in someone’s day.

Then again, maybe the reason why these awful, useless bullies are the way they are is because they don’t have parents who care – they don’t have anyone to hold them accountable for their actions – let alone ask them how their day was.

Maybe if the people who spawn these evil menaces cared enough to invest even five minutes of their time into their spawn, we wouldn’t have the bullying epidemic that we have today.

Parents of bullies – let me assure you, your maniacal little imbecile had an incredible day at school – bringing pain and sadness to everyone that they could. But hopefully, karma will find them and more than likely you as well for standing by and doing nothing.

If we shift the focus to whether they have hurt someone, it opens up a whole new conversation. It challenges them to confront their actions, encourages honesty, and makes them think twice about their behavior every single day.

It’s about holding them accountable, making them aware of their impact, and hopefully guiding them towards treating others with more kindness. Let’s forget the pleasantries and dive straight into the real conversations about their actions – unless the truth is that parents simply can’t handle hearing it!

FOUR Children Strangled In THREE Weeks

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

Four children strangled in three school weeks – by the same vicious child – sounds like news headlines doesn’t it? But this is something that you’re not going to hear in the media because these children are in primary school and therefore the psychotic behaviour of the perpetrators is excused.

I wasn’t going to write about this, but today, after being silenced by another school mother, I feel the need to share it publicly.

On the 31st of July, my son was playing handball with his friends when a coward approached him from behind and strangled him.

My son was just one out of the four children who have, week after week, undergone physical assault by the same menace.

Two of whom had to be rushed to hospital!

After the incident, I wanted more information about what could possibly be triggering this maniacal little creature to be bringing such harm to other children.

So I posted in the schools parents group asking if anyone had further information about whether there might be some sort of mental health or disability at play which could be contributing to the violent behaviour of this menace.

I thought that perhaps a ball could be responsible for triggering him to lash out – in which case parents and children need to know so that we are able to understand the situation and keep everyone safe.

A majority of the parent’s reactions was that they knew that this was going on, that the behaviour didn’t have any other contributing factors – and after speaking to the school principal he confirmed that there was nothing else at play.

In fact, the principal let me know that this boy was just being dared by another child to strangle children on the playground at random. Both were seeking some kind of sick enjoyment out of it.

After learning that there was nothing other than a nasty and incredibly sick personality behind these barbaric attacks, and from seeing the concern from parents within the group I chose to disclose the names of the boys involved in the incidents.

Wouldn’t you want to know?  If there was someone that you needed to prepare your child to be around so that they didn’t get strangled – wouldn’t you want to know who they were so that you could keep your child safe? Or for better phrasing – so that your child can keep themselves safe considering that the school has allowed this behaviour to extend across four children’s lives without putting a stop to it.

A week later, I received a private message from the owner of the school parents group informing me that she would need to switch off the comments on my post as well as delete any comments that she deemed “inappropriate” – it should be noted that absolutely no one swore or was abusive within the thread of my post.

Apparently, a parent had contacted the admin of the group and complained regarding the “sensitive nature” of the topic I had brought up.

And therefore I had to be silenced.

Instead of society recognising a problem and coming together as a community to attempt to figure out a way of addressing the issue at hand – we choose to silence the person bringing up the issue.

Instead of questioning why these aggressive little menaces are acting out and harming other innocent children, rather than holding their parents accountable for the actions of their vicious creatures, we are protecting the ones causing the most amount of harm – and silencing their victims.

To add insult to injury, I was then asked by the admin of the group how I would feel if it was my child being placed in a defamatory light – this is insulting to me because I would actually find it incredibly helpful if someone took the time to do this for me- if my child was going down the wrong path and bringing harm to others, I would truly appreciate someone taking their time to inform me so that I could rectify my child’s behaviour and ensure a brighter future not just for my little one, but for everyone that they encounter in life.

Of course I understand that there are the right channels to follow and that the next course of action would more than likely be to place a complaint in with the Department of Education opposed to simply informing a mothers group that we have a potential threat to all children at school.

The Department Of Education however, just like the school, aren’t going to inform anyone of who they need to be careful around and who they should not turn their backs on – and that’s the important part!

Children have the right to know who they need to be wary of in order to keep themselves safe.

Perhaps if parents cared about the harmful impact their menaces have on society as much as they do the reputation of these little beasts, it would create a far more peaceful and safe environment to go to school in.

The problem isn’t that the victim spoke your child’s name – the problem is that your child finds it amusing to watch others being strangled by their own hands.

Your child’s criminal behaviour is what defamed them and absolutely nothing else!

They Aren’t Bullying You Just Because They’re ‘Jealous’!

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

No matter the age of the child, the question that pops up from them regardless of if they’re in primary or secondary school is WHY they are being targeted by bullies – it’s something most of us would wonder ourselves.

Largely the excuse made for these poor examples of human beings is that they’re ‘jealous’ of the person that they are relentlessly harassing.

I have a different theory though – and it goes far deeper than simply “jealousy”.

What if these menaces to society, either single-handedly or with a small group of their like-minded lowlife associates, get together and harass others so that they don’t start fights within their own friendship group?

What if they are bullying our children not just because our children are too respectful to fight back, but also because they have a deep desire to inflict pain on anyone who they see as an ‘easy target’ who they know won’t try to intimidate them back in any way?

These evil creatures aren’t merely jealous of children who they see as more successful, happier or more visually appealing than what they perceive themselves to be- I mean I’m sure it starts there, especially when they make nasty remarks about how ugly they feel their victim is- and even more so when they interrupt a class to look directly at our child, call them a dog and order them to stop smiling… there must be something visually that they despise about their victim – the fact that their victims are usually the children who are oozing with pure joy does not help. 

They loathe our children’s happiness. They can’t stand the love that fills our children’s hearts and so they endeavour to try and put our children’s spark out or at the very least dim their light – if they can’t achieve their greatest desire of extinguishing our children completely.

This goes far beyond any kind of jealousy they may feel over materialistic things – after all from my firsthand experience with the cursed children that are harassing my daughter – they appear to have it all – and they boast about stealing it too.

In fact, if you walk into the 7-Eleven at Seven Hills, you will find their mugshots on the stores watchlist wall – these creatures have no shame in any sense of the word and this does not deter them in any way.

Whilst on the topic of stealing, they have even done so from my daughter – which honestly comes as no surprise because that’s the type of maniacal creatures they are.

This is the type of useless beings these menaces are, they are without even the smallest amount of morals or values – and where does the lack of basic core values come from if not the parents themselves?

How can anyone continue to use the excuse of jealousy for these pathetic individuals when the reality is they are far more savage than we give them credit for.

The true explanation as to why your child is being bullied, harassed and hurt by evil individuals is because those pathetic excuses for children are filled with hate. They don’t have anything else to their lives. Hate is their only drive. Not just jealousy. And if they’re not intimidating someone who has higher standards than themselves, who would not engage in violence with them, then they would turn on one of their own – and because their own are equally as vindictive as they are, they run the risk of getting themselves hurt.

That is what is actually going on here!

Hateful parents without willingness to give their child the love, guidance and support that their vicious offspring so desperately need, curse the entire world with their spawn- who are so filled with hate themselves that they are driven to destroy the most beautiful elements of life that mankind has ever seen.

These abominations hate to see anyone succeed or be happy or smile but that’s not the only thing driving them to drag our children down. They will do this just to prevent themselves from being targeted by their equals- the pathetic excuses of children who are just as vindictive as what they are.

They aren’t just bullying you because they’re jealous of you – they’re bullying you because they’re too COWARDLY to do anything else, to put the work in and actually make anything of themselves and they are far too scared to leave themselves open to being targeted by the demoniac associates they consider to be their friends.

The old saying “idle hands are the devil‘s workshop” could not be more true when considering these types of useless creatures.

How Much Poison Do You Take Before You Die?

~ Rochelle ~ Leave a comment

As parents when our children are facing tremendous challenges we all seem to wonder the same thing-

How much disrespect and pain, either physical, emotional or both can our child take before it becomes too much – and perhaps, more importantly before it consumes them completely.

Oftentimes we watch on helplessly as our child faces relentless cruelty from their peers not knowing precisely what to do or who to turn to for help.

Of course there’s always a common sense answer – take it up with the school or the Board Of Education or ultimately the police – but realistically where do you think that’s going to get you?

Let’s take it closer look at what you’re REALLY dealing with here – and it’s not merely ‘immature children’:

Your child could very easily find themselves in the firing line of a completely Neurotypical evil child. What I mean by this is a child who for no chemical, hormonal or biological reasons, intentionally harasses your child – they do this out of their own sick pleasure – they seek joy from bringing harm to others.

This is the type of ‘scum of the Earth’ being that I am referring to – the kind who would never be missed if they were never there.

Of course at this point anyone having read this far would be arcing up and saying how dare she say that “nobody would miss that type of child”. Well let me reassure you that if this were the type of child that any parent were to genuinely care about, they would not allow their offspring to become the type of menace to society that these children truly are – if their own parents honestly cared about them then these creatures wouldn’t be this way.

Any parent who genuinely loves and cares for anything that they are responsible for raising wants the best for that living being – they want to see them thrive and bloom in only the best of ways possible… this is the complete opposite of what the parents of these creatures are like – they take no responsibility for their savage monsters whatsoever.

Now keeping this in mind, understanding that these parents are rejecting their responsibilities when it comes to raising decent human beings – do you honestly believe that you need to take on their role and help them guide their useless child down the right path?

Why would you need to waste your TIME, your ENERGY, your LIFE by contacting the school, contacting the Board Of Education or even contacting the police: 

  • just to get some menace help 
  • just to get some menace put on the right path 
  • just to get some menace the guidance that they need to be able to be a valuable member of society

WHY is that up to you?

IT ISN’T!!!

It isn’t your problem what happens with that creature – you never need to worry about if they’re going to be set on the right path in order to keep them away from your child. 

All you need to concern yourself with is your child’s well-being – building your child’s resilience to the point where they can fight back for themselves and they don’t ever lose sight of their self worth.

The truth is the school isn’t going to do anything. The department isn’t going to do anything. The police aren’t going to do anything. Sure they might issue some sort of warning and they might issue suspensions from school – but at the end of the day isn’t that the outcome that these creatures want? 

I guarantee you these hopeless children do not want an education. They are some of the most uneducated, illiterate living creatures ever to roam the earth. They cannot form a coherent sentence. They do not have morals. They do not have values. They do not have ethics. There is absolutely no element of goodness to the souls of these evil beings – I personally have communicated with them – and I can tell you from first hand experience there is absolutely nothing to these empty shell creatures.

They don’t have a future  – and their parents know this. 

It is because of the fact that they have nothing to live for that they will strive to take the lives of children who they see thriving, minding their own business, living their own lives, smiling, being happy- loving life.

These menaces to society will seek out the happiest, the most vulnerable, the quietest – the children who they know won’t fight back and they will endeavour to consume them. And they won’t stop until they know they have destroyed a life.

We as parents on both ends of the scale can step in to make a change and potentially save our children though.

If you don’t like what I’m saying and you know that you are responsible for one of these creatures – you can step in and make a difference in your child’s life to potentially give them a renewed sense of self and a brighter future.

Of course, if like me, you have a child who is relentlessly being bullied, you also have the power to step between the bully and your child yourself.

You don’t need to wait for ANYONE to save your child – save your child YOURSELF – call the bullying out however you see fit. Make it known to the ENTIRE WORLD what exactly is being done to your child! Suffering in silence is not the answer.

These creatures need to see their words. They need to see what they’re doing and they need to know that it will be made public – so if they’re proud to harass your child in private then they need to be able to sit comfortably knowing that you will make their cruelty known to EVERYONE – and why shouldn’t you!

When it comes to answering the question “how much poison does a person take before they die” – no parent wants to know the answer to that especially when it comes to the life of their beautiful child. No one needs to tolerate even the smallest amount of cruelty/poison – because that’s not what life is about and how would we ever know how much poison is too much…